Scorpio Humor – Working With the Bank

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Scorpio – The Master of Relationships – At Least According to Me

Most people seem to enjoy my humor so I decided to include a little snippet each Monday. Most of this humor is based upon real life incidents with Linda and me but are slightly exaggerated. You may see a little of my Scorpio CType and Linda’s Sagittarius CType here. You may also see a little of your relationships in these little bites of levity. Enjoy and I hope these brighten your Monday’s in some small way.

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In relationships between man and wife who have been married for 40 years, we get to know a little about each other. For instance, Linda doesn’t think I’m very good at dealing with large corporations that provide us with things like phones, electricity, Internet service, insurance, helpful government agencies and, of course, our bank. To prove her wrong and show her how seamless working with our bank can be, I took on the task of going paperless with our bank.

I called my bank, Trust Bailout Trust & Savings Trust, to tell them we wanted to go paperless. Save a tree, save the world. It’s one little step for manhood and a giant leap for a tortoise—or something like that. An automated voice asked me for my account number, social security number, date of birth, color of eyes and hair and the names of mother’s maids of honor. I got everything right except the color of my hair, which I said was brown. The voice told me it was grey and not very thick, either. Still, I was allowed to continue with the call. When the automated voice came back on the line, I had these options:

If I wanted to open an account, press one
If I wanted to check my statement, press two
If I wanted to make a payment, go to www.TrustBailoutTrust&SavingsTrustBankLLC.com/SaveTheDeadTreesNot/ChaseYourTail/ExtraFee/Now/GoodLuckFromIndia/CustomerServitudeDudeNoSpeakeeEnglish
If I needed to speak to an account representative, press three but first press one agreeing to a $29.95 additional fee.
For all other issues, hang up and dial again or go towww.TrustBailoutTrust&SavingsTrustBankLLC.com/SaveTheDeadTreesNot/ChaseYourTail/ExtraFee/Now/GoodLuckFromIndia/CustomerServitudeDudeNoSpeakeeEnglish and login for a complete listing of all services.
If I wanted to buy a gun to shoot my myself, my phone or computer, press 90210 to go to our award winning Finance, Usury, and Suicide Watch Department

I’ll call again tomorrow when I’m sure the customer service will be much better…right after I pick up my new phone and computer to replace the ones that were found outside my window mysteriously shot to death.

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