Scorpio Humor – Picking Up the Photos at Costco

bigstock Happy Couple 416195516 300x214 Scorpio Humor – Picking Up the Photos at CostcoScorpio – The Master of Relationships – At Least According to Me

Most people seem to enjoy my humor so I decided to include a little snippet each Monday. Most of this humor is based upon real life incidents with Linda and me but are slightly exaggerated. You may see a little of my Scorpio CType and Linda’s Sagittarius CType here. You may also see a little of your relationships in these little bites of levity. Enjoy and I hope these brighten your Monday’s in some small way.

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Linda sometimes sends me on errands. I’ve noticed, however, she usually encourages me not to get distracted on my little journeys. Why she says things like that, I don’t know.

Linda sent me to Costco to pick up her Christmas photos on my way to spelling class. I’m quitting spelling class as soon as I get spellcheck on my compuer. In any case, I made the mistake of going to Costco when I was really hungry. First, there is lots of free stuff to eat at Costco. Second, they’re almost begging people to eat the many delicious samples. I started with 24 health crackers piled high with smoked sausage and cream cheese dip. Next was teriyaki chicken on a long toothpick. I ate 31 of them before being asked to leave the chicken line. Then came little squares of pizza, three different kinds. I liked the farm raised anchovy best and ate two full trays as opposed to the garlic and onion at one tray and the triple cheese pepperoni and halipainyo at only half a tray. Luckily, with my thirst at severely elevated levels, the next stand was giving away samples of fresh organic prune juice of which I guzzled down a half-gallon when the sample lady wasn’t looking. The final stop before being asked to leave the store was a stand giving away high fiber black bean soup. I had a couple of quarts to clam my now somewhat quiese stomach.

In the checkout line I realized how much stuff I’d packed into my two flatbed carts. Six cases of beer, a one gallon “super bottle” of fine tiquila, two cases of wine (on sale for $.99 per bottle), a case of brandy (for Christmas eggnogs), a tool box, twelve assorted hammers, two flat-screen TVs, an oil change kit, a new high tech barbeque with six “super” burners and lots of handy storage space, a vacuum that allowed me to see stuff whirling around in its clear plastic wind thingy, a new easy installation 12 speaker sound system for my truck, a fishing rod, tackle box, four reels and 26 assorted lures (in case I ever want to go fishing again), two backpacks and a tent (in case Linda wants to go camping), a five gallon bucket of soy sauce, and a skid of 60 pound bags of doggie treats for Vinnie.

Unfortunately, after ringing everything up, I threw up on the card reader and my checkbook and was unable to pay for my purchases. This seemed to upset both the other customers and the staff and I was escorted out of the store. The queesiness in my stomach continued all the way home making for some potiential cleanup inside the truck. I decided to address this cleanup issue next week when I feel better . Walking into the house, Linda asked me where I had been for three hours and where were the photos and her checkbook. I said the only thing I could say. “I thought you were going to pick up the photos.”

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