Scorpio Humor – Meet Vinnie – The Newest Dibble

bigstock Happy Couple 416195510 300x214 Scorpio Humor – Meet Vinnie – The Newest DibbleScorpio – The Master of Relationships – At Least According to Me

People seem to enjoy my humor so I decided to include a little snippet each Monday. Most of this humor is based upon real life incidents with Linda and me but are slightly exaggerated. You may see a little of my Scorpio CType and Linda’s Sagittarius CType here. You may also see a little of your relationships in these little bites of levity. Enjoy and I hope these brighten your Monday’s in some small way.

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Linda is a mother again. You may recall the newest member of the family, little Vinnie, the chawahwah (this is spelled just like it sounds). Vinnie has now been immersed in the famous Dibble Doggy Training Program for 45 days with predictable results. I have become known as “The Dog Shouter.” As with any dog, house breaking is crucial. We appear to be being successful because everything in the house is broken…or chewed into small bits. Vinnie makes up for these indiscretions by pooping just off his potty pad and on the floor. His near misses from the pad range from approximately one to 1.5 inches. This is outstanding accuracy. The dog is blessed with very good eye/tail coordination. Linda affectionately calls these little doggy “accidents” tootsie rolls. I call them dog crap, which I believe is a more accurate description.

Little Vinnie has also learned to speak and shake. He speaks constantly when left alone or the sun goes down. He shakes sometimes for no apparent reason, why I don’t know. Because he has done so well in his training, Linda has bought him many lavish gifts. He has three carriers, three soft beds designed with his little doggie comfort in mind, 72 toys of various cute description (many make cute little squeaky noises too), six kinds of dog food, 16 types of “treats” that are gifted to him whenever he does good…or any other time, a large wire enclosure that he rejected as too confining and so now blocks access to my golf clubs in the garage, a soft pouch-like carrier that Linda wears like a vest (very becoming I must say), 12 types of bones and chew toys (which don’t seem nearly as appealing to Vinnie as furniture or shoes or clothes or golf bags or dish towels or plants or anything dangerous to midget dogs). I’m thinking of getting little Vinnie a companion, which, I heard, will many times calm a more hyper little one. I’m thinking maybe a coyote or a bobcat might have a calming effect.

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