Scorpio Humor – Male Bonding for Vinnie

bigstock Happy Couple 416195521 300x214 Scorpio Humor – Male Bonding for Vinnie

Scorpio – The Master of Relationships – At Least According to Me

Most people seem to enjoy my humor so I decided to include a little snippet each Monday. Most of this humor is based upon real life incidents with Linda and me but are slightly exaggerated. You may see a little of my Scorpio CType and Linda’s Sagittarius CType here. You may also see a little of your relationships in these little bites of levity. Enjoy and I hope these brighten your Monday’s in some small way.

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In relationships, nothing is more important than communication. However, there are rare occasions when Linda and I cross wires. This appears to be most prevalent when Linda deems something is extremely cute or even adorable–such as in clothes and small animals.

I can’t believe I’m saying this. We have a new family member, Vinnie, the Chawawa (trust mee–this is spelled just like it sounds). He’s seven weeks old and weighs in at one pound, four ounces. Linda had to leave for a couple of days and I’ve had dog sitting duty. This has given me the opportunity to train Vinnie and mold his character somewhat. It’s been a while since we have had a baby in the house and I’m having to remember a few of the basics. Chawawas are suppose to be smart. Vinnie is no exception. At seven weeks, he’s learned to bark and whine (especially at night), go to the bathroom often and sleep. He can also wag his tail. Amazing. He is supposed to eat four small meals a day, so I have had to make four trips to Taco Bell each day. I’ve been buying him the bean and cheese burrito and a chalupa for dessert. His stomach has been a little upset, so I’m cutting back on the hot sauce and from now on it’s only light beer for little Vinnie. Maybe this will help his bad breath, which seems to be prevalent at both ends.

Here’s where the molding kicks in. We watch football together and tomorrow I’m taking him to the movies to see a double feature, Lady and the Tramp and Ninja Dog Rambo Terminator II. I love dog action hero films. I’m sure Vinnie will too and this should be a great male bonding experience. Like father, like my son Vinnie, right? For Thanksgiving, he gets a turkey leg, mashed potatoes and gravy, and green beans. That ought to keep him quiet for a while. Next week he gets his first surfing lesson. Don’t worry. The surf is only 3-4 feet and I’m getting him a little wetsuit to ward off the cold. After that, guard dog training at the Attack Dogs Is Us Depot and he’ll be patrolling the perimeter of our property at night to make sure thieves, coyotes and mountain lions think twice before taking on a vicious and territorial trained killer chawawa. Nosiree. No diamond studded collars for this guy. I’m looking for something with big spikes that exudes aggression and testosterone. Believe me. People are going to notice that Vinnie is no ordinary Chawawa.

Linda calls every few hours to check in on Vinnie. I’m keeping his training a secret. She’s going to be surprised how far he’s come in just the little time she’s been gone.

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