Scorpio Humor – Linda Gets a New Chair – Part II

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Scorpio – The Master of Relationships – At Least According to Me

People seem to enjoy my humor so I decided to include a little snippet each Monday. Most of this humor is based upon real life incidents with Linda and me but are slightly exaggerated. You may see a little of my Scorpio CType and Linda’s Sagittarius CType here. You may also see a little of your relationships in these little bites of levity. Enjoy and I hope these brighten your Monday’s in some small way.


continued from Part I…

The chair arrived. With mounting glee, I tore open the boxes and in my haste seemed to have misplaced the assembly directions. No problem. I pride myself in being able to intuit how things are supposed to go together. I fill in any gaps with precise reasoning. First, I’d need my toolbox. In my toolbox is everything I need for any job. For small precise jobs, I have a small rock hammer that I use for fixing watches, removing splinters or tunneling out of prison. For mid-sized jobs, I have a roofing hammer I use to drive nails, screws and plastic fittings, and for those really tough jobs, a 16 pound sledge hammer. When in doubt, get a bigger hammer, yes?…har har.

Few of the various parts of the chair seemed to fit properly. Why were the castors on the chair pointing up? Shouldn’t they be pointed at the floor? I hammered them around as best I could, but then they didn’t seem to roll very well. Using the various hammers to speed insertion of tab A into slot D and tighten screws, I finished the assembly in record time. I put the 24 leftover pieces in the trash and hauled the chair into Linda’s office. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t fit through the door and I had to enlarge the opening approximately four feet. I probably should have taken the chair out of the reclining position, but it appeared to be somewhat stuck in that position.

Plugging in the massage unit, there was a loud popping sound followed by a geyser of sparks and a general blackout of the neighborhood. I put out the resulting chair fire with the garden hose and shovel I reserve for just such emergencies. I hear Linda coming in now. I can hardly wait to see Linda’s face when she sees this baby. Maybe we’ll curl up together in the new chair and…well…snuggle.