Scorpio Humor – David Has A Headache

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Scorpio – The Master of Relationships – At Least According to Me

Most people seem to enjoy my humor so I decided to include a little snippet each Monday. Most of this humor is based upon real life incidents with Linda and me but are slightly exaggerated. You may see a little of my Scorpio CType and Linda’s Sagittarius CType here. You may also see a little of your relationships in these little bites of levity. Enjoy and I hope these brighten your Monday’s in some small way.


Linda and I believe that we should put only natural, organic things into our bodies. We avoid drugs of any kind while also knowing that occasional and proper use of appropriate drugs can sometimes be beneficial for healing. For some reason, Linda likes to be consulted before I make my choices on medicinal drug usage.

I had a headache and went to the medicine cabinet to get an aspirin. The directions on the bottle said to take no more than 8 tablets in 24 hours. I took 16, knowing I wouldn’t have to take anymore for two days. Planning ahead for optimum holistic health is important. So is reading the label. Side effects from aspirin included an upset stomach, bleeding and some other stuff. I settled down to eat dinner. You don’t want to take drugs on an empty stomach. For dinner, I had four bowls of Caliente Bob’s Blowtorch Chili with Whole Jalapeños. This gave me a little heartburn so I went for the Zantac. Normally one Zantac stops heartburn for 24 hours, but we’re talking about Caliente Bob’s Blowtorch Chili here. So I took 10 Zantac and decided to go out for desert, which consisted of a late night drive to Taco Bell and 10 Cinnamon Chilupas in chocolate chili sauce. As I had under-dosed the insulin for my diabetes, this caused my blood sugar to rise. I took a bottle of hypertension pills my friend had given me and 10 Vicodin I bought on the Internet to calm me down. This seemed to help with my headache. In the ER, after telling my story, I was give a prescription for a home lobotomy kit—preventive medicine—in case the headache comes back.

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