Scorpio Humor – Cinco the Bird – Part I

bigstock Happy Couple 416195520 300x214 Scorpio Humor – Cinco the Bird – Part I

Scorpio – The Master of Relationships – At Least According to Me

Most people seem to enjoy my humor so I decided to include a little snippet each Monday. Most of this humor is based upon real life incidents with Linda and me but are slightly exaggerated. You may see a little of my Scorpio CType and Linda’s Sagittarius CType here. You may also see a little of your relationships in these little bites of levity. Enjoy and I hope these brighten your Monday’s in some small way.

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As the father of a daughter, I sometimes get the feeling that mothers and daughters don’t disclose everything that is going on in their lives–at least not to me. I notice that Linda and my daughter, Quinn, can be jabbering away and when I walk into the room, it goes strangely quiet. This seems especially the case when they’re talking about dating or shopping. Sometimes this happens when they’re on the phone, too. What’s up with that? I often see things in closets that have store tags on them, but they always turn out to be old things that haven’t been worn yet. Whew. That’s a relief. But I digress.

A number of years ago, Sophie, our toy poodle, which had been trained to believe that everything inside the house was a toilet or a fire hydrant, was given to a nice (unsuspecting) family. Evidently, the new family had contagious and comprehensive brain damage.  They loved that little poop-stained hairball.

Once rid of Sophie, I, as the man of the house, commanded to all in the family that there would be no more pets in this house.  Evidently, there was the usual miscommunication that seems to occur at these meetings because Linda and Quinn purchased Cinco, the bird.  Cinco is a Cock-a-tell (or something like that) and suppose to be very smart (not this bird, we should have named him Uno).  According to the ex-used car salesman turned bird hawker, we could teach Cinco to talk and whistle and sing.  Well, Cinco isn’t very good at talking, whistling or singing.  His real gift is the ability to screech loudly for long periods of time, especially if its dark outside or he hears people talking.  He also has the ability to fly full speed inside the cage bouncing around like a feathered pin ball off feeders, swings, assorted bird toys, perches and the debris at the bottom of the cage.  However, his timing is exact.  He waits until we have refreshed his food and water supply so that his manic thrashing of wings can achieve maximum mass and distance of seed, water and dried bird guano in every direction.  We let him out sometimes for good behavior (against my wishes), but he is not a reliable parolee.  He flies to the darkest areas of the house, crashes into what ever is there, and then doesn’t make a peep.  It is only by luck (bad luck) that we find him, usually in a starter pile of his own droppings.  Quinn was wondering what to buy Cinco for Christmas.  I suggested a radio transmitter, a visit with relatives in the Capistrano area or a kitten.  “Very funny, Dad”.